It just doesn't feel good being friends with them.WHY YOU CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOUR EX: Is your Ex always on your mind? Do you think about your Ex first thing in the morning, throughout the day, and last thing at night? Does every little thing trigger memories of your Ex? You're having trouble maintaining boundaries and keep slipping into old habits from when you were dating. The friendship feels one-sided, draining, or otherwise unhealthy. Talking to them or spending time together feels painful, tense, distracting, or inappropriately intimate. The idea of them dating someone else makes you feel jealous, uneasy, or upset. Your ex is occupying your time, energy, or headspace, and it's affecting your ability to date other people or be present in other parts of your life. You're holding on because you feel guilty for ending the relationship or feel like you "owe" them your attention in some way. You're holding on because you are scared or unwilling to untangle your lives from one another and start to live independently. You're holding on because you can't imagine dating anyone else or having as strong a connection with anyone else ever again. You sense (or know) that your ex is not fully over you. You still have romantic feelings for your ex, and you're having trouble moving on. You're secretly hoping you'll get back together. The friendship adds something positive to both of your lives, whether that's fun, companionship, collaboration, or practicality.
#STILL IN LOVE WIT MY EX PROFESSIONAL#
You have kids together or are in each other's social or professional orbits in some way, and you need to maintain some level of interaction with each other. You both feel totally comfortable and happy dating other people, and you authentically want that for each other, too. You're both able to maintain appropriate boundaries and manage nostalgic feelings that may come up without falling fully into them. You both have fully separate, independent, private lives. You no longer feel attached to, dependent on, or "partnered" with one another. Your relationship to each other no longer feels emotionally charged it feels similar energetically to your other friendships.īoth you and your ex can spend time together without it feeling painful, tense, distracting, or inappropriately intimate. You no longer have romantic feelings for each other or want to be in a romantic relationship.
You feel like you have emotionally moved on from the relationship, and your ex has, too. You both have accepted that the relationship is really over (and understand why it happened). You've taken time to process and accept the end of the romantic relationship. That said, being friends with an ex can sometimes make it harder to successfully move on from the relationship if there are still lingering romantic feelings for each other or if tension arises when you both start dating other people. "It can also provide increased flexibility with managing schedules, discipline issues, and the general flow of information." Though she says friendships aren't necessary for successful co-parenting, it may create an easier environment for both the parents and the kids. She adds that it can be especially beneficial if you and your ex have children together. "If you and your ex identify that you make better business partners, workout buddies, or friends, and you are able to maintain healthy boundaries with each other, then creating an authentic friendship could work." "Being friends with your ex can be a good idea when other aspects of the relationship were valuable to your growth, development, or life goals," she explains. Some people are able to have healthy, positive relationships with their exes without any difficulty or complications, whereas others find that trying to stay friends ends up being unnecessarily messy or even painful.Īccording to licensed marriage therapist Weena Cullins, LCMFT, sometimes two people find they don't work as romantic partners, but there are aspects of their relationship that are still valuable and can be healthily maintained through a friendship.
Whether it's a good idea will depend on the situation and the people involved. Yes, it's absolutely possible to be friends with your ex.
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